The New Old

I have now been home for about a week. Life's definitely been different. Everyone is louder, I don't share a room with my best friend, it is COLD, and I have no school work. The no school work is definitely an upside, but in a way I kind of miss it. The homework and school gave me something to do, it kept me busy. Now that I have been home with almost nothing due any time soon, it feels like my days are a little more empty. Luckily I have had some help with a great friend with that. I'm learning that I love having a schedule. Even if you do not follow it perfectly, just having an idea of what you want to get done for the day or accomplish can really help. In reality, it is what got me off my butt. In regards to the other things, I know I sound super negative or I might, but this is where I put my thoughts and at the end I promise I'll be more positive. 

When I say life is louder, I mean it is loud. I thought 311 at 1:30 in the morning was loud, but this is different. The other night at dinner I actually felt overwhelmed because of all the noise. We had the sister missionaries over for dinner and were all sitting around the table. Eight people and a little baby girl, who by the way is adorable. I was sitting in the middle and near the end I had three different conversations going on around me, along with a little girl throwing her toys around and onto the floor. My mind couldn't focus and was a bit confused. I am used to other kind of loud noises, but not really that much going on. I am used to living in a room with just me and one other person. We can be loud, but nothing like this. When I am home, there is almost always wiggles playing in the background. I love the wiggles, but when they are going to almost constantly, well you can imagine how much you learn to really love the wiggles. Even at church the noise sometimes got hard to handle. When you go away to school, and attend the YSA (Young Single Adult) Ward there are almost always no children. This means it is almost silent when you are at church. Go from that to a full stake conference of home wards and you can imagine how many babies you hear crying. Quite a shock to the system. During the prayer, I felt like all I could hear was the noises going on all around me. I guess I'll have to get used to that again. One way I guess the Lord is preparing me for a mission. Other times, however, having the noise isn't too bad. Hearing the laughs of my family, or just my family sitting around and talking makes me smile. I have a beautiful, loving family here on Earth and I get to spend the next two or so months with them before I have to leave for the next 18.

Now, the no longer sharing a room with my best friend. You would think that having a room to myself is amazing. In some ways it is. The noise I was talking about before, well in my room I can have a little peace and quiet. It isn't perfect, but it's something. I'll just have to get used to that printer going off. The hard part is not having the person you told everything to right there, all the time. Whenever I had a bad day, or something really happy happen to me I could immediately go to her and tell her everything. She was right there. If I even looked the least bit sad, she could tell. She knows me better than anyone and at times, knew me better than I knew myself. She helped me grow in ways I didn't think possible. When I lost all motivation, she was there to keep me going. When I needed a hug after a long, hard day. She was there. When I needed to vent to someone because 311 drove me crazy again or some other crazy thing happened at work, she was there. When I didn't know what to do, she encouraged me to always turn to my Heavenly Father. When I decided to serve a mission, she was happy for me, even though she knew we'd be apart for quite some time. She always encouraged me to do my best and be the best I could. Imagine having to leave that 4,172 miles away. It can be pretty difficult. Luckily the Lord has blessed me with the ability to FaceTime and call so it isn't as hard as it would have been. However, I know that the Lord wouldn't give me someone like that in my life if He wasn't planning on keeping them around for a while. He'll always make sure we find our way back to each and that is, in the end, what gives me the most comfort. College gave me a forever friend and I'm not letting that go for the life of me. 

Onto what must be my most favorite part of coming home. It is so COLD. Okay, so it isn't nearly as bad as it was the last time I came home in the fall or when I came home in the winter, but after living in tropical weather for the past 16 months, it makes it a little more difficult to come home to. One other thing that makes it difficult is that I get cold so fast and super often. I am always cold. Even when I was in high school, if there was someone cold in the room when everyone else was warm, it was me. Maybe something is wrong with me, but for now, I'll just have to deal with the coldness. At least California will be warm! 

OH! For those who have not heard... I am serving in the California Sacramento Mission. I am beyond excited to be serving the people of California, in the English language. I will be reporting to the Provo MTC on January 11th. It may not be a foreign country or another language, but the moment I opened my call and read where I was going I knew it was where I was meant to be and go.

Now that I have gotten that all out there I want to clarify a few things. Yes, coming home has not been an easy transition, but I know this is where I am suppose to be right now. I have a loving family who is helping me in whatever ways they can. I am beyond grateful for the technology that allows me to still communicate with my best friend even though she is still hard at work in Hawaii. 

Just because the Lord gives you your plan and helps you find what you are suppose to be doing right now, does not mean it is going to be easy. Regardless of how hard it is though, as long as you trust in the Lord and rely on Him to help you push through, you will always make it. We are never given something we cannot get through. I will try to get a few more updates in while I am home. 

I am sorry to those I have not reached out to since being home. As you can probably tell now, it's been a rough little bit. I'm going to try to do better now though. 

Thank you all for your love and support.

Much Love,

MJ