Change of Plans: I am serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

I normally would not use a title that long, but I figured I should be pretty upfront and forward about this one. I also don't usually care if someone decides to read my blog or not, but this time I hope that anyone who has clicked on this link will take the time to read and understand why and what decision I have decided to make. If you're surprised about me deciding on to do this, well, welcome to the club. 

Let me start off by saying this. For those I told I am not serving a mission or it just isn't for me, I was not lying. I had prayed about it and sincerely felt that I was not suppose to serve a mission; however, the Lord stepped in and has given me a change of plans. I want to let you all know how exactly I came to know that I am suppose to serve a mission for my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I had no thoughts of it. I loved what missionaries did, and even loved to go out with them, but I simply had no thought of serving one for myself. As I said before I had prayed about it and gotten my answer. I was not going to go messing with the plan I had set. To be honest, I did have a set time and situation to think about serving a mission. I would think about it if I got to that time and place. It all started with a Facetime and texting conversation with my sister. Yes, she proudly takes credit of that. Oh how I love her. Anyway, we were talking about the Nauvoo Young Performing Missionaries. For those we do not know Nauvoo is in the more middle part of Illinois, between 3 to 4 hours away from Rockford. Those I know from school, Rockford is the city next to where I am from. Nauvoo is an important location when it comes to our church history. Some of the major events in the history of the church took place there. A Young Performing Missionary is someone who submits an application and applies to be a performer in Nauvoo for a 4 and a half month mission. They are serving a mission, it is just much shorter. They sing and dance and put on shows in Old Nauvoo for all those who come to visit, which a lot of members of the church do. As I was talking to my sister we got talking about it there and for some reason I decided to let her know that that was the only mission I had ever maybe considered.She thought that would be cool and we didn't really dwell much more on it. When I actually looked back on the conversation I was surprised I had even mention it.I had considered it, yes, but the consideration was so low I had never even given it a second thought. Either way I did mention it to her. That conversation took place during the morning shift at work. My day went as normal and I simply did my work, with only a single change. I could not get out of my head the idea of doing a Young Performing Mission. The idea stayed there through the afternoon, through the evening and well into the night. My mind would not stop. I had gotten to the point where I could not sleep because my mind would not shut off. It hit the hardest about 1 am and I texted my mom to see if she was awake. Mind you that was only 6 am Illinois time. No, she was not awake and wouldn't be for about an hour. My mind was spinning so much that I ended up looking up the application form and dates, the money it cost and what is took to audition. It doesn't sound too bad, but at this point I was getting so confused that I had tears in my eyes.

I was confused because as I said before I had a plan. I want to show you, truly show you that I did had a plan, one that I could recite to you and tell you that I knew what was going to happen in the next few years. I was, and still am, attending Brigham Young University Hawaii. I am majoring in Music Education and had originally planned to graduate in Fall 2018 because of student teaching. I realized I desperately needed another semester and appealed to get one. {BYU Hawaii is on a trimester schedule and only allows you a total of 9 semesters.} I was granted it and my graduation expectancy got moved back to Spring 2019 {student teaching spreads over two semesters at this time of year}. I would graduate and would then have a few options. I would either be married or not. If I was married I would decide to either start work or if my husband and I wanted, start a family. If I was not married I would decide to either go on to a masters, start teaching or consider a mission. See? I planned it in there to consider one. This was the plan and I was not planning nor wanting to go away from it. It took me a long time to even figure that much out for my life.

So back to where I was. I was there with tears in my eyes, being utterly confused at why I was all the sudden having this idea in my mind that did not fit with the plan. I was going to stick with my plan. That's what plans were for, sticking to. I spent at least 30 minutes watching different auditions online with tears streaming down my face. I was more confused than I have ever been in my life. Eventually my mom texted me asking if I was okay and said that I could Facetime her. I explained all my thoughts to her and what was going on. She helped me calm down a bit and we talked through a lot. She told me that I needed to ask in sincere prayer if maybe this is something I am suppose to do. She gave me different scriptures I could study and my dad gave me different ideas on how to get my brain to at least calm down for the night. After talking to them for at least an hour, it was about 3 am and we realized I really needed to go to bed. I was scared. Having your whole life plan altered in the matter of a day is not an easy thing to go through. 

One of the suggestions my dad gave me was to make a pros and cons list of doing a Young Performer's Mission. In reality I could not give a con to going and serving the Lord for 4 and a half months. Even if I had to take a break for semester, it did not seem like a con. Instead I simply wrote down anything that popped into my head for about a minute. I will tell you that even on that list you can see the slow transition from a Young Performing Mission to the idea of a full time mission and by the end of the list I had written the word, "I am going to serve a mission". Writing those words should have felt weird and foreign, but instead I felt a strange sense of peace and after that I was able to feel a sense of comfort and peace every time I thought the words "I am going to serve a mission."

That night was the first night that I started to ask whether or not I should serve a mission. It was not long after that that I started to realized and truly know that this was something I was meant to do. After that night every time I thought about serving a mission and prayed for a confirmation I felt at peace. It was not much later that week that I knew my answer and my life planned was officially changed. I talked to my Bishop, the man who is over the ward I am in, and he opened up my papers for me. I was going to serve a mission. Side note for those who do not know. In order to serve a mission you have to fill out what are called your mission papers and it basically is everything they need to know about you and how they will decide where you go. 

After a little longer, I finally figured out my availability date. This is the date I put that says I am available to leave on that day or any time after. When I open my mission call, the date I report will be any day on or after that day. 

For those who don't know about a mission, here is a little background. I will be serving for a period of 18 months. I do not know where I will sent until I receive my mission call. I could be serving any where in the world that is open to missionaries and I could be asked to speak any language. It is completely volunteer. By choosing to go and serve a mission I am choosing to put my life on hold and focus on serving the Lord and helping share the gospel. I will not have day to day communication with my friends and family. I will be allowed to skype home to my family twice a year: Mother's Day and Christmas. Other than that I will be allowed to email once a week. Emails are not just for family, anyone can email me, which includes you. So please, please email me. I would love to hear from all of you while I am out.

Please know that this is something I am more sure of than a lot of things I have done in my life. I know that I am suppose to serve a mission. I hope and pray every day that I will receive support from each and every one of you. Yes, it was unexpected, but it is what is suppose to happen in my life. I will be attending fall semester, but after that I will be heading home. 

This was not easy, but please, like I have said, trust me when I say this is what I am meant to do. I want to finish by simply sharing the testimony I have gained throughout my life and more specifically had strengthened within the last two weeks.

I know, wholeheartedly that the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true church on the today. I have always known, but I have come to know for a surety that it is. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and knows me personally. He knows each and every one of us personally and wants us to know Him. There is nothing He wants more than for us to return to Him again one day. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I know that he restored this gospel to its fullest and that it is because of him that I have the gospel today. I have been to Carthage where he was martyred and have felt the spirit there. I know that he gave his life for this gospel. I know that he translated the Book of Mormon correctly. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I have read it and know for myself that it is. I continue to read it daily and the wisdom is gives is un-measurable. I know that we have living prophets on the Earth today. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ would not leave us on this Earth without prophets to help lead and guide the church today. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet on the Earth today and that he truly does lead and guide us today. I know that families can be together for ever. I know that life does not end here. I also know that it did not start here, but that we did live before this. I know that Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for each and every one of my sins along with yours. I know that He felt every pain, illness and transgress we would have. I know that He did that out of pure love for each and every one of us. I know that He gave up his life on the cross so that we may live again. I know that He understands each and every thing we go through, because He has gone through it as well. I know that I am never alone. If I am ever suffering or struggling He is there. If I ever need someone to talk to He is there ready to listen. I know that I can be forgiven for my sins through His Atonement. He knows that I am not perfect and He only wants me to be continually be trying to do my best. I know this church is true. I love the gospel more than words can ever describe. I would not be giving up 18 months of my life for it if I did not know without a doubt that it is true. I humbly say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, my elder brother, Amen. 

I love each and everyone of you more than you could ever know. Life is not easy, and it does not always go as planned, but with the Lord on our side we can get through every and anything. 

If you have any questions please do not be afraid to ask. I would love nothing more than to answer them.

Much love always, 

MJ/Future Sister Baird