He is the One
I was always that girl who loved the fairy tales and Hallmark movies. Cheesy love story with a happy ending? Sign me up. Weddings. Love. Romance. All of it. That was me. My biggest fear growing up? I'd never have that for myself. 21 years into life and a miracle took place. I did find him. I found my person. The one. My true love. My soul mate. My best friend. All the cheesy titles, he fits. What I did not expect was what it would actually feel like. Honestly, I don't know if there is a way to truly describe it. I kind of want to try though. Why? Because I had the thought to try and type it out. So here I am, giving it my best shot.
At first, he was just my best friend. The person I could talk to about anything. The person who could make me laugh so easily. Then he turned into the person that I would talk to for hours on end, but the time feeling like it was standing still. He was the one that I felt this automatic, immense amount of trust with. Personally, that was something that was very unusual for me. Trust has not always come easy, but with him it did. I found that the longer we talked, the more I realized I did trust him. It wasn't just some small amount of trust; I trusted him with everything. My life. My thoughts. And slowly my heart.
He become what I would talk about with other people. When I was social, he was the one that would come to mind, and I'd bring into conversation. Every text made me giddy and brought a huge smile to my face. Every Face-Time call made me feel like the world around me did not exist.
For those who do not know, Nick and I have been doing long distance from day one. Before you freak out too much, before we began officially dating we had been best friends on the mission for about a year. This wasn't some random BYU guy I had met two weeks ago.
When I saw him in person for the first time, it was amazing. I know not everyone's story is this way, but for us, the connection was immediate. What we thought was there, had not been dreamed up. It was far more and far better than what we could have imagined. Butterflies were constant and our smiles never left our faces. Saying goodbye was not fun, but we had no idea just how difficult those would become.
We continued our pattern of Face-Timing 5-6 days a week and always talking. We just loved talking to each other. Another visit came, three weeks later. I realized things were becoming a lot more serious than I had thought. A day before he came, I realized I was a goner. He had already left a mark and was firmly planted in my heart. I love you's were shared. And let me tell you, that was not easy.
Back, during my time in Hawaii, I once had a friend who shared a thought with me, and it has always stuck. He was one who rarely said the words "I love you". If they were shared he wanted to make sure it was because he positively knew he meant it. He then looked at me, and I promise this was in a genuinely kind manner, said I was (excuse the language) an "I love you slut". Honestly, I was pretty taken aback when he said it at first, but I have come to realize he wasn't all wrong. He simply meant that I throw it around to almost anyone. If I do that, how do you know I truly mean it, and it isn't just something I say to everyone. I am a very loving person, so being honest, I still say "I love you" far more than a normal human probably does, but he made me think of about it and if I truly meant it. I learned to pay more attention to the moments that I let those words come out.
Back to the situation with Nick, I wasn't going to say those words until I knew for sure. I had to be positive. I felt so much joy when I realized I did know. And I wanted him to know that I did.
Anyway, that is getting a little bit more into the story and I wanted to focus this one more on the feels, so let me get to the point.
What, to me, it feels like:
It feels like you are no longer yourself without them there.
When you are apart, a piece of you is missing.
Thinking about forever, only makes sense when you know they are going to be there with you.
They become the single most important person to you besides your Savior, Jesus Christ.
Every spare moment, you want to spend with them.
You want to know every detail about them.
You want to know all their thoughts. Desires. Dreams.
You want to be there and help them accomplish them.
Making them smile is a priority.
Seeing them through the good, bad and ugly, just a part of life.
History is no longer solo memories of yourself, but memories of you both together.
More than likely this still does not convey truly how I feel well enough, but all I can say is I know what I feel. I love him. I love Nick. I know he's the one and I will spend every day of my life being grateful that God sent him to me and that he was willing to accept and have me forever.
Much Love Always,
MJ (giddy and excited to be a Newton) Baird
At first, he was just my best friend. The person I could talk to about anything. The person who could make me laugh so easily. Then he turned into the person that I would talk to for hours on end, but the time feeling like it was standing still. He was the one that I felt this automatic, immense amount of trust with. Personally, that was something that was very unusual for me. Trust has not always come easy, but with him it did. I found that the longer we talked, the more I realized I did trust him. It wasn't just some small amount of trust; I trusted him with everything. My life. My thoughts. And slowly my heart.
He become what I would talk about with other people. When I was social, he was the one that would come to mind, and I'd bring into conversation. Every text made me giddy and brought a huge smile to my face. Every Face-Time call made me feel like the world around me did not exist.
For those who do not know, Nick and I have been doing long distance from day one. Before you freak out too much, before we began officially dating we had been best friends on the mission for about a year. This wasn't some random BYU guy I had met two weeks ago.
When I saw him in person for the first time, it was amazing. I know not everyone's story is this way, but for us, the connection was immediate. What we thought was there, had not been dreamed up. It was far more and far better than what we could have imagined. Butterflies were constant and our smiles never left our faces. Saying goodbye was not fun, but we had no idea just how difficult those would become.
We continued our pattern of Face-Timing 5-6 days a week and always talking. We just loved talking to each other. Another visit came, three weeks later. I realized things were becoming a lot more serious than I had thought. A day before he came, I realized I was a goner. He had already left a mark and was firmly planted in my heart. I love you's were shared. And let me tell you, that was not easy.
Back, during my time in Hawaii, I once had a friend who shared a thought with me, and it has always stuck. He was one who rarely said the words "I love you". If they were shared he wanted to make sure it was because he positively knew he meant it. He then looked at me, and I promise this was in a genuinely kind manner, said I was (excuse the language) an "I love you slut". Honestly, I was pretty taken aback when he said it at first, but I have come to realize he wasn't all wrong. He simply meant that I throw it around to almost anyone. If I do that, how do you know I truly mean it, and it isn't just something I say to everyone. I am a very loving person, so being honest, I still say "I love you" far more than a normal human probably does, but he made me think of about it and if I truly meant it. I learned to pay more attention to the moments that I let those words come out.
Back to the situation with Nick, I wasn't going to say those words until I knew for sure. I had to be positive. I felt so much joy when I realized I did know. And I wanted him to know that I did.
Anyway, that is getting a little bit more into the story and I wanted to focus this one more on the feels, so let me get to the point.
What, to me, it feels like:
It feels like you are no longer yourself without them there.
When you are apart, a piece of you is missing.
Thinking about forever, only makes sense when you know they are going to be there with you.
They become the single most important person to you besides your Savior, Jesus Christ.
Every spare moment, you want to spend with them.
You want to know every detail about them.
You want to know all their thoughts. Desires. Dreams.
You want to be there and help them accomplish them.
Making them smile is a priority.
Seeing them through the good, bad and ugly, just a part of life.
History is no longer solo memories of yourself, but memories of you both together.
More than likely this still does not convey truly how I feel well enough, but all I can say is I know what I feel. I love him. I love Nick. I know he's the one and I will spend every day of my life being grateful that God sent him to me and that he was willing to accept and have me forever.
Much Love Always,
MJ (giddy and excited to be a Newton) Baird
Comments
Post a Comment