18 Months of Lessons Learned
In 3 days I will hit my month mark of being home from serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. For the past 18 months I gave my whole heart and soul to the people of Sacramento, California. Looking back, I can honestly say it was the greatest decision I have ever made. Who I was as I walked into the MTC is not who sits here writing this blog. That person is long gone; far in the past. People say a mission changes you. I just didn't realize how much.
I wanted to share some of the changes I saw in the my life from serving as a missionary. Some are changes on the inside that only the Lord and I know about. Others are far more apparent.
When I left for my mission I loved the gospel and I knew it was important. However, I did not leave on a mission because I wanted to serve. I left because I knew it was what my Father in Heaven had asked of me. As I sat across from President Neavitt on June 20 and was officially released, I knew I was now on a mission for myself. I had come to love serving every day. I loved being out and talking about our Savior, Jesus Christ, every day. When I thought about doing anything else, I couldn't picture it. Sharing the gospel had become my life. My whole purpose in going on a mission had changed. The gospel changed my life and I wanted to show and allow others to have that same change. My purpose had become one of a disciple of Christ. To invite others to come unto Christ.
As I continued on in my mission, I started to learn about who I was. One of my favorite phrases is 'When you lose yourself, you find yourself". In the moments that I truly gave it all to Him, I could see who I was. I could see those strengths He had given me, and I could see the places that I needed to work on. I started to understand more about who I was as a daughter of God and as a representative of His Son. I had moments where I struggled a lot. There were so many of my weaknesses thrown in my face. How can I move forward? Yet, when I relied on my Savior and His great Atoning Sacrifice, I was able to make it. I learned to not let them cripple me, but let them propel me forward into becoming a better version of myself. My weaknesses are still there, but I have learned to take it one day at a time and simply chose to find a way to be better every day.
The mission helped me to grow up. Through the years of growing up and then into college, I always thought I was doing my part to grow up and do what I could. With where I was, I did what I could. However, on my mission, things finally clicked. I had experiences I never thought I would and I learned how to hold my own, and to take responsibility. We have to be willing to step up and do our part. We can't always coast through and expect things to get done. Honestly, the best way to say it, is simply that I grew up. I learned how to actually be an adult.
This final one I'll mention, is one that is the greatest change I saw in myself, but probably the one that from the outside the least amount of people will ever be able to see. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ with everything in me. Before my mission, I thought I understood, I thought I got it. I was so wrong. I thought I had a grasp on the reality that was around me. I didn't. On my mission, I realized I had been living in a fog. Sounds a bit funny, but it is the truth. I had this fog around me that I never knew was there. I thought I understood what was going on and I thought I knew what was being taught, but I really had no idea. As I was in the mission field and truly studied the doctrine of Christ for myself, I learned what it was. I learned that when one said the doctrine of Christ, they were talking about faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. I realized that this gospel had actually been taken from the Earth and that was why there needed to be a restoration. So many key truths, my mind just never grasped or held onto. I learned more and more and truly came to understand this gospel. For me, I needed a mission. I realized that I needed a mission, because it was the only thing that could remove my fog. Since I left it has been as though the fog is lifted. I have clarity that I have never experienced. I understand and am able to connect the pieces. Something, I realize I wasn't able to do. I always struggled connecting certain dots, and my Savior used my mission to help me. I have a clear mind. I have focus. I can see with greater perspective. This change in myself is hard to fully put into words, so if it doesn't make sense, I am sorry. However, I know that as long as I understand, that is what Heavenly Father needed.
My mission was the greatest experience I could have had for my life. I will forever think of my mission every day. Cliche, but true. My mission has quite literally changed my life. If you are thinking of a mission and deciding whether or not to serve, I would recommend you simply take it to the Lord. He knows you better than anyone. He sees and understands all. For me, I needed it. For you, He may have other plans. But remember, that is between you and Him, no one else. No where is it anyone's place to judge.
I love my Savior. I love my Heavenly Father. I loved getting to wear my Savior's name on my chest every day for 18 months. I miss it every day. However, I know I served my time and that I simply just need to rely on my Savior moving forward.
This life is full of twists and turns, be willing to take them, wherever they may lead you.
Much Love Always,
MJ Baird
I wanted to share some of the changes I saw in the my life from serving as a missionary. Some are changes on the inside that only the Lord and I know about. Others are far more apparent.
When I left for my mission I loved the gospel and I knew it was important. However, I did not leave on a mission because I wanted to serve. I left because I knew it was what my Father in Heaven had asked of me. As I sat across from President Neavitt on June 20 and was officially released, I knew I was now on a mission for myself. I had come to love serving every day. I loved being out and talking about our Savior, Jesus Christ, every day. When I thought about doing anything else, I couldn't picture it. Sharing the gospel had become my life. My whole purpose in going on a mission had changed. The gospel changed my life and I wanted to show and allow others to have that same change. My purpose had become one of a disciple of Christ. To invite others to come unto Christ.
As I continued on in my mission, I started to learn about who I was. One of my favorite phrases is 'When you lose yourself, you find yourself". In the moments that I truly gave it all to Him, I could see who I was. I could see those strengths He had given me, and I could see the places that I needed to work on. I started to understand more about who I was as a daughter of God and as a representative of His Son. I had moments where I struggled a lot. There were so many of my weaknesses thrown in my face. How can I move forward? Yet, when I relied on my Savior and His great Atoning Sacrifice, I was able to make it. I learned to not let them cripple me, but let them propel me forward into becoming a better version of myself. My weaknesses are still there, but I have learned to take it one day at a time and simply chose to find a way to be better every day.
The mission helped me to grow up. Through the years of growing up and then into college, I always thought I was doing my part to grow up and do what I could. With where I was, I did what I could. However, on my mission, things finally clicked. I had experiences I never thought I would and I learned how to hold my own, and to take responsibility. We have to be willing to step up and do our part. We can't always coast through and expect things to get done. Honestly, the best way to say it, is simply that I grew up. I learned how to actually be an adult.
This final one I'll mention, is one that is the greatest change I saw in myself, but probably the one that from the outside the least amount of people will ever be able to see. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ with everything in me. Before my mission, I thought I understood, I thought I got it. I was so wrong. I thought I had a grasp on the reality that was around me. I didn't. On my mission, I realized I had been living in a fog. Sounds a bit funny, but it is the truth. I had this fog around me that I never knew was there. I thought I understood what was going on and I thought I knew what was being taught, but I really had no idea. As I was in the mission field and truly studied the doctrine of Christ for myself, I learned what it was. I learned that when one said the doctrine of Christ, they were talking about faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. I realized that this gospel had actually been taken from the Earth and that was why there needed to be a restoration. So many key truths, my mind just never grasped or held onto. I learned more and more and truly came to understand this gospel. For me, I needed a mission. I realized that I needed a mission, because it was the only thing that could remove my fog. Since I left it has been as though the fog is lifted. I have clarity that I have never experienced. I understand and am able to connect the pieces. Something, I realize I wasn't able to do. I always struggled connecting certain dots, and my Savior used my mission to help me. I have a clear mind. I have focus. I can see with greater perspective. This change in myself is hard to fully put into words, so if it doesn't make sense, I am sorry. However, I know that as long as I understand, that is what Heavenly Father needed.
My mission was the greatest experience I could have had for my life. I will forever think of my mission every day. Cliche, but true. My mission has quite literally changed my life. If you are thinking of a mission and deciding whether or not to serve, I would recommend you simply take it to the Lord. He knows you better than anyone. He sees and understands all. For me, I needed it. For you, He may have other plans. But remember, that is between you and Him, no one else. No where is it anyone's place to judge.
I love my Savior. I love my Heavenly Father. I loved getting to wear my Savior's name on my chest every day for 18 months. I miss it every day. However, I know I served my time and that I simply just need to rely on my Savior moving forward.
This life is full of twists and turns, be willing to take them, wherever they may lead you.
Much Love Always,
MJ Baird
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