Stressed Out Doesn't Mean Freak Out

Sometimes life gets stressful. When this happens why is it our first reaction to be mean and rude? Don't worry, this isn't a post to point out a flaw in everyone else and then say I'm perfect. This is kind of the opposite. Tonight I had an assignment that I was stressed about being late. The deadline was getting closer and closer and all I did was get more rude and mean. I had a loving friend encouraging me the entire time, offering to help in any way she could even when she had her own assignments due. I repaid her by being snappy. When I finished the assignment I noticed that, yes I had gotten it in on time, but I felt awful about it. No assignment is worth treating people badly. I did not score as well on it as I should have. I let my stress take over and drive my emotions. When someone needed my help, I did not put them first like I should have, all I could think about was me, me, me. I had to do this. I had to do that. I had to meet this deadline. I helped someone, but grudgingly and in a bad mood, I made someone wait longer than they should have, I made someone feel awful for just trying to help and I was mean to the kindest person I have ever known. 

I know this isn't one of my normal kind of posts, but I wanted to get my thoughts down, even if it was short. I know I need to do better.  A lot better. I guess it just made me sad to think that when life gets us down, the generally tendency is to turn negative. I wish that was different. I wish I was different. I want to be different, and I promise I am going to try. This does not mean I am not going to fail. I probably, no, I will fail, but I will continue to try and try again until I slowly get better.

Sorry this has been a weird post. Sometimes I think we just need to take a step back and see the reality of things, even if that means it's not exactly what you want to see. I'm going to try harder, and I encourage each of you to do the same. 

During high school one of the biggest things I learned was that our words have more power than we could ever imagine. I think I have started to forget that. It's time to remember. 

I love each and everyone of you. Thank you for always being patient and understanding with me through each of my flaws. I promise to each of you I am trying to do better. Eventually I will be better. Until then, I will continue to use you all as examples and try my best.

Try A LITTLE Harder, to be a LITTLE Better - President Gordon B. Hinckley Quote:

Much Love,

MJ


P.S. Yes I am still planning on serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I will be posting another blog soon with updates on where I am at. 

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