Self Worth

Thinking is an interesting thing. I am typing this blog for two reasons: 1) I feel like typing and 2) I wanted to get this done so maybe I can look back on it later when I need it. 

This past Saturday I had an experience that made me open my eyes. It wasn't the beautiful place we went or the way we got to that place, it was something that only I experienced and knew about. The mind is a powerful thing that can be an incredible thing, but also damaging. Most people who know me know that I overthink basically everything in my life. It's a fault and a trial that I am constantly working on everyday. What I realized was how much our minds, with what I'm assuming was the help of Satan, can fight against us. As I was riding in the back of this truck, enjoying the breeze go by. Friends close by with music and laughter. I was happy. I had a smile on my face. Then I start to think. My mind started on the idea of how truly lucky I was to have friends like this to come into my life. Whether I am only meant to have them now or forever, I was grateful they were in my life at least for this moment in time. But my mind start to turn its gears and headed in a new direction. I started to doubt and started to question whether they felt the same way. Did they actually like having me as a friend? Was I actually just a burden in their lives that they were putting up with? I started to think of every experience where I may have talked too much or said the wrong thing. It got to the point where I was telling myself that they didn't actually want me there. They brought me with because they were nice people who weren't going to turn me away. My self worth dropped instantly. It was gone in minutes. When Satan had done his job, he left, and I found myself no longer smiling, but staring off. I didn't know what to think. I found myself believing the thoughts that had come to my mind. Now most may have just dismissed the thoughts, but I guess with my flaw of overthinking, my mind took that single question and blew it to the max that it could. Eventually we stopped at a gas station for food and one of my friends started to talk to me. I was able to pull myself out of the self doubt and realize that what I had been thinking was ridiculous. It wasn't the truth and that I needed to take a breath and give trust a chance. 

I'm writing this because I know that it was Satan who had entered my mind or influenced my thoughts that day. Every time that I start to think negatively about myself and think that I am worth nothing, I have to remember that those thoughts are not the truth. We are incredible human beings. Yes, we all have flaws, but that is what makes us human. In our own ways we each are incredible and Satan hates that. He takes our flaws and uses those to attack us. Mine just happens to be overthinking. 

I want you, who ever is reading this, to know that you are worth more than you can ever image. Regardless of the thoughts that may hit you in your low points, you are priceless. We are children of a loving Heavenly Father who sees our worth for what it is. A worth that we can't even begin to imagine. He loves us for who we are, for each of our mistakes, for who we are. Nothing we do could make Him stop loving us. Knowing even that simple thing helps to get me through and I hope that it can help you too. You are not alone. Our minds are brilliant things, but sometimes they work against us. Satan wants us to be miserable and he will do whatever he can to make sure that we are. We just have to turn away from him. He doesn't deserve the time of day that we sometimes give him. 

Know that you are loved, by me and by your Father in Heaven. He smiles down at you every day and can't wait to see you again. 

I know that I have a loving family. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father. I know that I have friends who care about me for me. I know that I am priceless. I am the daughter of a king and that will never change. Don't ever give up on yourself; it is never too late to turn down the ideas that Satan has planted in our minds. Stay strong and be proud of who you are, love who you are.  

Much love,

MJ

P.S. I will include some pictures from the hike I went on that day. It was beautiful.